subtweet: more tattoo artists need to just say “nah dude, i’m not doing that”
THAT IS DANK AS A MOTHERFUCKER– old dude upon being given a cigarette
If you have a cold and pump your body full of allergy medicine, Tylenol, and caffeine you are magically all better without any negative repercussions whatsoever. Trust me, I’m a doctor
the best wingman i ever had was a 37 year old professional woman consulting for lockheed martin
Sometimes at this place I really can’t tell if people are batshit crazy or on way too much adderall
benkenjes: fearandfaith: I had a dream last night that ken Benjes made me tumblr famous ill make ur dream reality bb :* okay, to start, we need to make a .gif set of us in where the wild things are footsie pajamas, and we’ll go from there
I had a dream last night that ken Benjes made me tumblr famous
I have eaten so much food in the last 3 hours that I need someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright. Or a nap
literally the only thing i want to do today is to lay in the grass sans 75% of my clothes and listen to the allman brothers
not nearly as good as popeyes’ mayonnaise
i get unreasonably angry when the word “myriad” is used as an adjective, even though it’s technically grammatically correct
a guy named fabio just joined my lab. i’m ramping up for at least one goose-to-the-face joke a day
Passive-Aggressive Work Emails “It appears to me that there are individuals (there is a better word for these people, but I will not use it here for the sake of decency) that seem to think their work is more important than everybody else’s. While this may be true (please let the rest of us know, so that we can accommodate your needs), it does not mean you can be inconsiderate of...
today i got completely fucked over by someone i really respected but i keep telling myself ‘the earth is not a cold dead place’ over and over again because i never don’t want to believe that
i want to rock and roll all night and part of every day
i fucking love the nfl draft
Orbitz just informed me by email i can fly roundtrip to madrid for 10 in May days for $794 and a large part of me wants pull out the credit card, say “fuck work” and go for it
gut-flora said: haha don’t be ashamed this song is great THIS SONG IS SO GREAT. literally all i listened to today was 773 love + two remixes on repeat
WHEN THE SPEAKER BEFORE ME KNOCKS IT OUT OF THE...
whatshouldwecallgradschool: credit: Adam i love everything about this
WHEN I FINALLY GET ENOUGH DATA FOR A PAPER BUT IT...
whatshouldwecallgradschool: credit: Mo this is a 50000% accurate description of my life for the last 9 months but only the next 24 hours
so many feels
Perhaps it’s the color of the sun cut flat and coverin’ the crossroads I’m standin’ at. Or maybe it’s the weather or somethin’ like that. But, mama, you been on my mind.
i think i am going to buy an oboe
kinetics v thermodynamics
One of my biggest fears is having to poop at a house party
modpodg: the response, is this a fucking joke, is probably not appropriate. but it’s the email i want to send. this is literally exactly how i feel. in the professional world it really should be appropriate to send “you really fucked us here jeff, you’ve got to be fucking joking” but alas
Last night I hadn’t first actual sex dream, without it being represented by something odd or abstract. Thanks a lot, Catholic Church, for repressing that for 25.5 years..